Saturday, June 18, 2011
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". (Romeo and Juliet; Act II, Scene II).
Labels have been an ongoing topic of conversation this week. Which naturally leads to the thought of what the labels mean in TTWD. Labels are simply a means of making a snap judgment for purposes of categorizing, and without definition have no meaning. At least this is my own personal theory.
Let's take, for example, the labels of bottom/sub/slave. As a general category, one can make a snap judgment that one holding this label is not a top/Dom/Master (or top/Domme/Mistress but for ease of thought I refer to the masculine as the controlling personality, and the feminine as the controlled). Other than making the distinction of what one is by defining what one is not...the label gives no further insight...not really.
Furthering this example, what is the label associated with a girl who enjoys the occasional spanking in the bedroom, likes to kneel during play, and gets wet at the thought of having a dick shoved down her throat? Sub? Bottom? Slave? Generally, she likely falls into one of these, but which one is irrelevant to the one pulling her hair.
So, what's the point? The point is this...the label, at least for a bottom/sub/slave, is entirely dependant upon the top/Dom/Master. If he wants her to be his dirty little sub, then he will treat her as such, and this is what she will be. It is HIS definition that is relevant.
Which logically next brings to mind...if the definition can be defined by the top/Dom/Master...then who determines that definition? Again, I assert, it is defined by him. If he wishes to be a top for the moment, then it is by his thought and will that it is defined.
So why all the rambling about the labels? Because this, I believe, is yet another sign of "submission". And by submission I mean the willing mutual exchange of power and control. When one gives up this power and control it is through negotiation and action. To cling to a label and have the expectation that it will fit within a predefined construct is an attempt to maintain a certain amount of power and control. If there is a true release of control, then the predefined construct cannot exist.
Thus, when asked whether she is a bottom/sub/slave, the correct response is always "I am what my Sir wants me to be."